Remembering My Brother

Herby Thaxton

December 8, 1957 – January 22, 2006

This is the picture that my Dad did

not want us to use at the funeral home.

Susan and I insisted.

This picture is my brother enjoying his life to the fullest.

It’s who he was – enjoying his “refreshment”!

Three years ago today, I said goodbye to my only brother, Herby. It seems like only yesterday that my sister and I held his hands as he left this world for a much better place. His body was ready to go. At 48 years old, he was not. He loved life. His life choices may not have been the best but he lived his life to the fullest.

He was three years older than me and was the typical older brother. His main goal in life while we were growing up was to irritate my sister Susan and I in any possible way. There was never a dull moment when he was around. He could cheat at any game and never get caught. The only give away to his winning schemes was his smirky grin. When we played cards one time, he had a matching deck under the table so he could pull out the cards that he needed to win. He even had extra Monopoly pieces to place around the board when you looked away. I learned very early to never look away especially when I had something really good to eat!

He was the master mind of many devious plots when we were growing up.

One time, Dad brought home an old parachute from the army base where he worked. Herby and my cousin Mike, decided to attach the parachute to the cat (Felix - very appropriately named) and throw him off the roof of the house to see if the cat would fly in the air with the parachute. Mom was in the bedroom as the cat passed by the window. Luckily, the cat landed on his feet in the middle of the mound of parachute. They didn’t mean to hurt him they said. They were just testing the parachute. Next thing I knew, the parachute was tied to the back their dirt bikes while they rode down the gravel road. Oh - the fun we had entertaining ourselves!

I’ll never forget the time he hid under Susan’s bed one night waiting for her to get in. She was probably five or six at the time. Being eleven years older, he barely fit under her bed. He waited until she turned out the light and got snuggled down in her bed for night. As she laid there he held up her talking Bozo the Clown doll beside the bed making him dance like a puppet. “That’s a rootin’ tootin’ trick!” Bozo said as he pulled his string. Susan screamed while running in mid air out the door of her bedroom. I don’t remember if Mom ever really fussed him – I’m sure if she did - it probably went in one ear and out the other!

Before he passed away, Susan and I spent many nights with him in the emergency room. His mind would ramble in so many directions while we tried to keep him in the bed and off the light fixtures. One night he kept asking the same question over and over again for hours.

“Did you ever think about thinking?” he kept asking.

“Hey Susan! Did you ever think about thinking?”

“Hey Lesa! Lesa! Did you ever think about thinking?”

We would keep answering over and over again. Yes. No. Maybe. Hum.

Just when we thought he had dozed off, he would come back around and ask again.

“Did you ever think about thinking?”

Today I can answer that question.

Yes.

I have thought about thinking.

I have thought about you each Christmas, birthday, and many days in between.

I have thought about how much you would love Jennie.

I have thought about how much Susan and I love you and miss you.

Yes. I have thought about thinking.

Love,

Lesa

Step Ins

My Mom and Dad gave of each us money for Christmas. It was a very simple solution for them. My Mom has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t do very well shopping or buying things for others at this point. She was so funny asking us several times Christmas Eve if we got our cards with the money from her and Dad. (She had just handed us the cards 20 minutes before she asked the first time.) She told us that they put their money together this year since they didn’t know what to get any us for Christmas. She stated this as if they each had two separate incomes, extra jobs on the side, and took up a collection between the two of them! My parents have been retired for many years now and have had the same bank account for a long time. When Mom asked several times if we got our cards with money, one of us would say we did and how much we really appreciated it. Somebody even said it was their favorite shade of green! After she had asked a few more times, I finally spoke up and said that I was going to buy some new underwear with my money.

My grandmothers always got me new underwear for Christmas when I was little. Nanny, my grandmother on my mother’s side of the family, always gave me cotton “panties”. They were so soft and comfy. Sometimes they would be in soft pastel colors. I loved wearing pink panties! Granny, my grandmother on my father’s side of the family, was a whole different story in the pantie department. She always got me the silky feeling, itchy kind. She called them “step-ins”. I remember her telling me that nice little girls only wore white step-ins. Not pink or lavender – just white. Apparently I had a problem with showing my panties when ever I wore dresses. Granny gave me step-ins with lace on the rear end in case my dress came up. I guess it was OK to show your step-ins if they were silky and had ruffles on them.

I had this discussion with Mom on Christmas Eve after I mentioned buying new underwear with my money. My mother actually remembered Granny putting the itchy things on me every time I went to visit. She said that I would start scratching as soon as they touched my behind. Maybe that’s why Granny put the ruffled ones on me. In case I started scratching with a dress on.

I’m sure if Granny was still living she would also tell me that nice girls don’t discuss their step-ins in public.

Lesa

Game Night - Free Entertainment!

What happened to the days of getting together with family and friends to play games or cards? I think in the hustle and bustle of life, we have lost a valuable activity. I remember when I was growing up, we would have card games on Friday or Saturday night at our house or we would go to our neighbor’s house. Our social outings for the week were going to church on Sundays, Wednesday night prayer meeting, and going to someone’s house to play games.

On Thanksgiving Day after we scarfed down (is scarfed a word?) a huge meal, we decided to play cards instead of lying around on the couch, dozing off to sleep, and holding our bellies all afternoon.

We played Texas Rummy. Each round you have different requirements for laying down your cards. It’s very easy to play. It’s a twist on regular rummy using 2 decks of cards. I’m not sure where or how it got the name of Texas Rummy. Maybe somebody from Texas came to Kentucky and taught a friend how to play this game. I don’t know. Maybe if Diane came and taught me how to knit, I could call it Arkansas Knitting! Just a thought…..

We enjoyed talking, laughing, and just being together. The best part – it was free! For several years in the past, we have gone to the movie after we eat Thanksgiving dinner. With the economy like it is, we all need more free things to do as a family. What better way to save money than to pull up a couple of chairs, get out some cards or games, and enjoy what you have!

My son, who is 27, lives with us and we never take time to stop and just talk. We eat in passing, leave notes for each other, and get ready for work each morning in three different shifts at my house. My sister and brother-in-law are the same way. We all have meetings during the week and barely have time to call each other before we fall into bed exhausted at night.

My sister and I have made a promise that we will commit to at least two or three nights a month to play games and just enjoy being together as a family. She already has Friday night planned for us. I’m bringing the Rook cards, Dominoes, Dr. Pepper and a cheese ball. My brother-in-law wanted know if this called for a fresh batch of Chex Mix?….. What more do you need for a fun night? Not much!

I’m already looking forward to our free entertainment on Friday night and it’s only Monday! I’m so easily entertained…….

Lesa

Two Years from Fifty

Today is my 48^th birthday. I don’t feel like I’m two years from 50. I’m not sure what I thought I would feel like at this age but I don’t feel any older. People are always saying “Happy Birthday! Do you feel any older?” I can honestly say no – I don’t feel any older. It does seem like as I get older that time goes by faster. It also feels like not too long ago I was playing with my brother and my cousin in the yard building forts and having dirt clod fights in the garden! These are pictures from my 6^th birthday in 1966.

I know – these pictures look like they are 42 years old! I remember getting a doctors kit with a plastic stethoscope and tiny candy pills. My cousin Mike, my brother Herby, and two kids that lived down the road from us came to my “party”. I thought I was queen for the day! Mom always let us pick the kind of cake we wanted and what we wanted for supper on our birthday. I always wanted a yellow cake with chocolate icing, “homemade” Chef Boyardee Pizza from a pizza kit with ground beef on top, and potato chips. That is not very exciting today but I assure you – it was great in the 1960’s! Tonight we ate at Cracker Barrel. As I ate my turnip greens, country fried steak, and cornbread, I couldn’t help but think of all those birthdays my family suffered through pizza and chips!

Lesa

Happy 40th Birthday to My Sister!

Today is my sister's 40th birthday. This picture was taken four years ago at my sister’s wedding. We need to get more pictures taken of us together. This is the only one I could find last night!
(Note: I hate to have my picture taken. I'm always the one in the family pictures watching the squirrels in the nut trees when the camera flashes!)

Forty years ago, God blessed me with one the most precious gifts I have ever received. He sent me a baby sister. It was the summer that I was seven years old and wanted nothing more than to see this life that my mother was carrying inside of her. Mom and I had talked about what she was going to name the baby. She asked me what I thought of Suzanne, Susanna, or Susan. She finally decided on Susan Vernell. Mom’s best friend was named Vernell but as Susan is very quick to point out, nobody ever called her by Vernell. They called her Bunny! There was never a discussion of boy names. It was as if Mom knew it was going to be a girl. In 1968, you never knew what the baby was going to be before it was born!

After she was born, I was never jealous of her getting all the attention. She was the center of my attention and everyone else who came to visit. After all, I was her big sister and that was all the mattered to me. She was a beautiful baby with dark hair and brown eyes. Since I had blonde hair and blue eyes, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous! Yes - I did tell her she was adopted because she didn't look like me!

She had colic and would cry at night with her stomach hurting. Mom and I would get in the car, with Susan on a pillow in my lap, and ride down the old gravel roads with all the windows down until she dozed off after finally burping or passing gas. We would ease in the driveway, park the car, carefully open the doors, and very quietly slip her in her crib. Then we would go back to car roll up the windows and close the car doors. We did this night after night – at all hours of the night…..

I will never forget when she about four years old and was playing in the back of the truck. She bumped her head and had a huge “goose egg” in the middle of her forehead. As the bump went down, she developed two black eyes and looked horrible – like there was something really bad wrong with her. When we went to Florida the next week, people would look at our family and shake their heads and whisper – “Bless her heart!” - as if she was abused or mentally handicapped!

We have been through a lot over the past forty years. We stood by each other the night we said good bye to our brother and watched a part of each of us leave this world. As our mother struggles with her memory due to Alzheimer’s, I am so thankful for the memories we have of those years and to have the strength of my sister beside me now. I never would have dreamed forty years ago that precious little baby girl would have grown up to be my best friend, a mother, a wife, but most of all – the best sister anybody could hope to for! I consider myself very lucky and blessed.

Happy Birthday Susan! I love you even more - 40 years later!

Lesa

CATS Testing

I know. It sounds like I'm having my little feline girl tested for some kind of illness. In the state of Kentucky, the accountability test that is administered every Spring is called CATS. For the life of me, I cannot remember what the letters stand for - it's late and I'm totally whipped at this point!

This is the second week of CATS testing at school. Tomorrow is the last day for testing – thank heavens! Nine days is very hard and stressful for 3rd, 4th and 5th grade students to test. I have monitored in classrooms for several days over the past two weeks. Teachers and monitors have to walk the room the whole time testing is in progress. It can last anywhere from 1-2 hours. My rear end has been dragging out the tracks of my chubby feet this week. Several days I came home absolutely exhausted. My couch was calling my name when I came in the front door. I can’t imagine how the students and teachers feel!

I remember when Justyn was in middle school. I would pick him after school. Normally he didn’t even want me to speak to him until after we left the parking lot. It wasn’t cool to have your Mother pick you up and act happy to see her at the same time. On testing days he was very different. He would get in the car and dramatically let his head fall back on the seat and say “Oh Mom! It was horrible! We had to sit quietly all day (probably two hours) and think!” Now for a teenager to sit quietly is a chore but to think at the same time is painful! Not to mention for long periods at a time. I think this convinced Justyn that he never wanted to be a priest or work in a funeral home! It was on these days that I would ask him if it was a Baskin-Robbins day. All he strength to do was to nod his head. As we sat eating our ice cream, I knew that these days would pass way too quickly. It was certainly not cool to be seen eating ice cream with your Mom but when she was treating you – it was OK!

Our local Baskin-Robbins has long since closed. Justyn is now 27 years old and testing is still just as stressful to all involved.

I think I may need to buy stock in Ben & Jerry’s. We have become very good friends over the past two weeks!

Lesa

Monroe & Hattie

I took this picture Wednesday afternoon on the way to my sister’s house. This is the house that Monroe and Hattie used to live in many years ago. Monroe could holler louder than any man I ever knew. It was a laugh combined with a holler that rolled out of his mouth to amuse anyone who happened to be near by. That was his claim to fame in our area of the country. You could hear him for what seemed like miles around. Monroe worked for farmers in the area as a farm hand. Hattie took in washing and ironing. They never drove a car or had a telephone. There was never a need for these modern conveniences in their lives. I can still picture in my mind Monroe walking home from the little country store carrying his carton of Coca-Colas in one hand and waving with the other.

They raised a garden each year. Hattie canned vegetables for them to eat during the long winter months. I remember the smell of the coal burning in the old pot belly stove. To me, it was a smell of cozy comfort on a cold winter night.

They were simple plain people of yesterday. They were good God fearing people. They were people that helped their neighbors in times of need. They worked hard for everything that they had and were always willing share. They lived the simple life of days gone by. People like that are few and far between now days.

They both passed away many years ago and all that is left is the memory of Monroe’s yell and Hattie’s beautiful smile. I can picture him sitting on the front porch after a long day of work waiting for Hattie to join him to enjoy the cool breeze on the porch.

I thought of these precious people not so long ago when I caught the smell in the cold night air of coal burning.

Lesa

Puzzle Time

When I was growing up, we gathered around the card table that was set up in the living room near the fireplace. All eyes were focused on the small pieces that would eventually form the pictures of old covered bridges, barns, or beautiful animals. On cold winter days, when we couldn’t play outside, we worked jigsaw puzzles. We would tell jokes, family stories, or just visit with the neighbors that stopped by on Sunday afternoons. While working puzzles and munching on homemade snacks, we would make memories that would last a lifetime. I remember us visiting with a family that had one of those fake cans of peanuts. When you opened the can, a springing cloth snake popped out. Somebody ALWAYS fell for the trick! Being the nut lover that I am, it was usually me! Those were the days of no cell phones, video games, and only two channels on the television – if you were lucky and it wasn’t raining! We entertained ourselves. Those truly were the days of better times.

Recently, my husband has started working jigsaw puzzles. Since November, he has done 15 – 1000 piece puzzles. He says that they help him to relax after a long day of work. He likes the puzzles that are pictures of old tractors. I’m not the picky. I just enjoy the challenge of completing the picture!

I enjoy the jigsaw puzzles that are on Jig Zone. I created a puzzle tonight of a picture that I took this afternoon. I know you can complete the puzzle faster than I did.

Go get a snack. Sit back. Relax. Enjoy working the puzzle!

"The Dandy Lion" by Lesa

Lesa

Old Homes

"This world is not my home, I'm just passing through.
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore."
This World is Not My Home
Words and Music by Albert E. Brumley
© 1965 - Albert E. Brumley & Sons All Rights Reserved

I recently took pictures of an old house that was in the process of being torn down. It was a beautiful Spring afternoon and the sun was setting. As I stood in the living room of the house looking out the front window, I couldn’t help but think of the people that had lived there in the past. I could just imagine the pride that a young couple must have felt starting their new life in this house many years ago. The beautiful oak floor showed the scratches of several generations that had lived there over the years. The rafters may have been sawed at the sawmill that used to be next to the house. Such love and care went into the building of this house to make it a home.
The front door was left open by the person that was demolishing the house and it was swinging in the breeze. I felt like I should latch the screen door to keep something out although the back of the house was already gone and gaping open. Maybe I needed to keep the memories in of those special family moments. Could it have been the ghost of Christmas past? Was it a cry announcing the arrival of a sweet baby? Maybe it was the passing of a soul. I left the door like I found it. I thought maybe the memories needed to drift out and find their way to the setting sun.

When I was leaving, I looked back at the front door and saw the worn metal door knob. I saw the sun shining into the doorway. Then I knew, the souls that had once lived there were already home.

Lesa

Imaginary Friends

Now that I have entered the world of blogging, I feel like I have imaginary friends that my family does not know or see. This reminds me of my son, Justyn, when he was about 4 years old and had an imaginary friend named Doo-Dah.

Doo-Dah lived in California and worked at a car wash. His father was a mechanic and repaired cars. He changed colors with his moods. He would be red on the days that he was mad and rainbow colors when he was happy. One time he ran a red light and had to go to jail. In my son’s little innocent world that was probably the worse crime he could think of someone committing. He was as real to us as he was to my son. We even stopped the car one day on the side of the road to let him in the back seat after Justyn insisted that he was standing there and needed a ride. I couldn’t help but look in the rear view mirror to see if someone was really there! Doo-Dah eventually left us when Justyn started to school. Being a young mother, I worried that Justyn had mental or emotional problems with him having such a vivid imaginary friend! I asked the pediatrician and he assured me that it was a sign high intelligence. I guess he was right. Justyn graduated from college with a degree in Computer Science.

I wonder what ever happened to Doo Dah. I bet he is still standing somewhere on the road side, waiting for some other little boy to come along and give him a ride.

Lesa