Friday, January 22, 2010

Another Year

Lesa (2 1/2 years old) & Herby (5 years old) - December 1962

I have a friend that recently lost her brother. She asked me if the pain ever gets better or goes away.

No - I can honestly say that it does not go away. Ever.

It does get easier to carry around but it never goes away.

It's always there hiding in the shadows of your heart.

It becomes a part of who you are.

She wanted know if the holidays and anniversaries were hard. The first ones were pretty hard but the worst days are everyday ordinary days.

The everyday ordinary days........ The days when I am reminded of my brother and I didn't expect it.

The days when I see the back of someones head that looks like my brother and my breath catches in my chest because just for a moment - I think it is him.

The days when I see a good friend of his that misses him just about as much as I do and I can see the pain and longing in their eyes. I can hear the catch in their voice as they speak of him.

The days when I see a truck from the company where he worked and think for just a moment - is it him?

Those are the days that hurt the most.

The everyday ordinary days that take a little detour through my heart when I least expect it. That's it. When I least expect. The everyday ordinary days.

Every time this happens - the next thing I know - I am thinking about thinking. This is a link to the post that wrote last year about my brother.

I still love you & miss you Herby!


Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Reflections

It was a beautiful day today. The high was in the low 50's and the sun peeped out several times. Neil & I rode over to my favorite place to take pictures - Chapel Hill Church and then on to Clarksville for a little shopping. I think I could take hundreds of pictures there and still not be satisfied! It has to be one of the most peaceful places I have ever been to in my life. It was windy today so we didn't stay very long. I want to go back this summer, pack a lunch, a good book, and sit under one of the trees until my heart is content.

Two year old lambs in Christmas plays do not
usually follow the rest of the flock.....

Jennie is growing up so fast. She talks all the time and has the "2" stubbornness down pat! If she doesn't want to do something - you may as well forget it! She has an independent little mind all her own. We kept her Friday night and took her out to eat with us. As I was putting her in the car seat, I said, "Jennie, I love you so much!" and I gave her a kiss on her forehead. She said, "I love you Sissy!". Well - I have to tell you - my heart felt like it tumbled out of my chest and bounced across the parking lot and just kept on rolling! It was the first time she told me that she loved me! Then she looked up front at Neil, and said, "I love you Neil!". He sat there for a few minutes with silly grin on his face. She is so precious. She loves so easily. I feel so sorry for the first guy that breaks her heart. There will be a line of people ready to break his neck......

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

I know - she is going to want to
shoot me by the time she is 15.

This reminds me of the post I did last year about
Step Ins